I feel like an aborted fetus, not even given the chance at life

So here are some random things that have happened so far....
1)The most crazed thing that has happened so fa is the fact that i almost burnt down my house with a piece of bread. so i made this garlic bread stuff over the weekend with my lovely brooke, and it was damn good. I had a litle bit left, but it was hard, so i thought reheating it with the melted cheese and whathve you would make it soft agian. I throw it in my Blue samsung microwave and meander upstairs for a second, come back not 30 seconds later to see that my room is filled with smoke! I make my way towards the microwave which has smoke just pouring out of it. i stop it and open it up to see that the bread had caught on fire and was burnt to a crisp. So now my room smellsreally bad, smoke was lingering in my basement for awhile. I left to go to work and forgot to leave a note of what happened...so when i got off of work, i had all these missed calls and voicemails. Lordy was my mom pissed, but she wasn't sure about what, ha. So i went home and explained everythign that had happened. She got an idea that i was doing crack in the basement from one of her online buddies.... Basement full of smoke, kinda sweet smell, and a nausiating smell on top of it. nope, just bread. the sweet smell was caused from the odor killer nuetralizing can i sprayed all over the place. well it still smells today and i have no idea how to get rid of it....any ideas???
2) on the way home last night to explain about the smoke problem i passed two lowell cops on route 2, knowing that there are onlt 2 cops on duty at night, i had free reign upon the rest of the way. so yes i did speed all the way home, whats new..but i turned onto nichols from costas road and proceeded north. as i came to the stop sign on main somethign told me to completly stop, and i did. As i got on the line i saw that one cop who likes to hang out there behind the bushes to catch people blowing the stop sign. You know what i'm talking about Zach. So luckily to my intuition or whatever you may call it, i got out of a ticket, yea me
3) well folks, i am going back for my second interview tonight, how K-Rad is that? I turned in my application and they did one interview with me on the spot yesterday! Yeah, well it looks like i might be having 2 jobs agian...now if only they payed well...well enough to have only one job? ok maybe not, looks like the hunt for the third job is still going on....
4)So yeah like i said I feel like an aborted fetus, not even given the chance at life. that's right, a fetus isn't a person, has no rights, has no feelings or emotions, and isn't truly living or alive. Damn those pro-lifers. anways..back to what i was saying....so i went to Aldi in Schererville and asked for an application. I said it was for the lowell store, then the DM told me that she has all the people filled in already for the lowell store. WTF I mean i did put in my application to have one on fill weeks ago, and went to get another one today, god damn. I didn't even get a chance to get my foot in at that place and i am already cursing it. to hell wit them, yes i said wit, i'm going to listen to Come Wit Me now, pissy ass song, gooddday...