IDK

i don't know..
i don't know..

i really don't know...

I feel like I should write, it would help me not be so stir crazy right now...but i know if i attempt to write, the writing will be all over the place with scattered thoughts, shattered dreams, and broken hearts.

I honestly don't know what to say here..it's like i have so much to say, so much i just want to vent about, to shed a tear about...and i've already talked to so many people about what's been going on..i don't know what else to do..everyone has a different take..for once i'm listening to other's advice, trying to figure out what's best..because..this time..i really really care about what happens...

I want what's best for everyone in the situation...and i'm hoping, hell, i'm praying that what we both want is the same thing....right now those wants and desires are a little skewed, not the same, but i'm hoping things get sorted out, and soon.

i could spill my heart here, but i'll hold back on that for a moment...right now i'm still in a shocked state..things haven't hit me as strong as they will say, tomorrow..but i have definitely been going crazy over here...

i want her to text me, call me, email me, something...saying she's sorry that she had to do this, but it was only to be closer to me..or something...heck...i'd take just a text saying "hi", then I would know I'm on her mind..

i want to let her know she's on my mind..but i want to respect the space she wants too..she should already know i think about her constantly..but i don't want the lack of my texts to make her think otherwise..i wish she would read this..

i'm going crazy without her...and in my head, my horrible world i create, she's perfectly fine..it's as if i was erased from existence..that's probably not true..but..what else am i to think..she said she didn't want to be with me..

ugh..please come back









"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." ~ Sophocles