Thursday, June 23, 2011

I Feel a Blog Coming On

Over.
Due.

Like that library book i took out in the sixth grade...

Why is it that whenever I have something to say, want to share it, I'm no where near/have access to my lappy...ugh, hopefully those times are behind me as I have successfully completed both Boot Camp and MCT...

I'd say the time I needed it the most though, has been in the past month - I've only been shyly burying my feelings away into other activities...digging holes, firing weapons, you know, routine stuff.....but in all honesty field week is what gets to me.

There is no way I'd be able to ever be a grunt..not because it's physically enduring and whatnot, I got that shit...it's what the field does to my head while I'm out there. I of course am basing this off the two times we've had to spend more than 3 days out in the wild..

For whatever reason, as I sit there in my fighting hole, my brain switches over into this existential, Sartre-esque overload of thinking..crazy thoughts, questioning this or that, trying to put things into perspective...it's a lot of reflection from muddy waters.

by the third day of it I'm at edge, irritable, and easy to anger - maybe that's the warrior coming out of me like my drill instructors wanted - to me that just means i need to stay far away from that....unless..unless of course I want to write some crazy shit, then I know exactly what to do....

bring my lappy, walk out into the middle of nowhere, make a sleeping ground, and flick my fingers away....

if only there was a power source way out there because lord knows the battery life on this mac sucks beyound all comprehension...

I need to get caught up, I need to get my writing back up to...coughparcough.

this is the first of many...to be continued.










"each passing moment i become more and more angry that i didn't bring my phone out here..."

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